「粵譯外文經典」簡·愛（原標題：粵譯經典作品）

pippo 發表於 2007-12-4 23:33:11

<SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">FIVE o’clock had hardly struck on the morning of the nineteenth of January, when Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and nearly dressed. I had risen half an hour before her entrance, and had washed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just setting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib. <SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">I was to leave <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on">Gateshead</st1:place> that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates at six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in the nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast. Few children can eat when excited with the thoughts of journey; nor could I. Bessie, having pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and bread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and put them into my bag; then she help me on with my pellise and bonnet, and wrapping herself in a shawl she and I left the nursery. As we passed Mrs Reed’s bedroom she said, ‘Will you go in and bid Missis good-bye?’  
 
 
一月十九号清晨，时钟啱啱响过五下，比丝（Bessie）就攞住支蜡烛行入我间房仔，佢见到我已经起咗身同埋差唔多执掂自己。其实喺佢入嚟之前半个钟我已经起咗床，重借住喺度下沉紧嘅嗰半边月光洗埋面，着埋衫添。呢啲月光透过我张床仔隔篱嗰个窄窄嘅窗口漏入嚟。今日我就要离开盖茨海德（Gateshead）嘞，坐一部晨早六点钟就会经过呢个大院度门嘅马车。除咗我，净係得比丝起咗身，佢入儿童室撻着火，喺度落手落脚噉帮我整早餐。谂到有得出去梗係会?（音：庆）到咩噉，冇边个细路会食得落嘢嘎，我都係。比丝谂住夹硬质我喫几啖佢专门为我准备嘅热奶同面包，但係都係嘥气。佢唯有用纸包咗啲饼干仔塞入我个袋度，跟手帮我着好大褛，戴好童帽，同埋用披肩包好佢自己。佢同我一齐离开儿童室嘞。当经过列太（Mrs. Reed）间睡房嗰阵，佢问我：「有冇谂住入去同列太打声招呼啊？」（《简?爱》第五章)

[ 本帖最後由 pippo 於 2007-12-13 08:43 編輯 ]

highyun 發表於 2007-12-4 23:53:05

唔好直接從word複製落嚟，好多垃圾代碼。
最好編輯下張帖，先複製落文本文檔，再從文本文檔複製過嚟。

pippo 發表於 2007-12-13 08:43:48

<SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">The moon was set, and it was very dark; Bessie carried a lantern, whose light glanced on wet steps and gravel road sodden by a recent thaw. Raw and chill was the winter morning; my teeth chattered as I hastened down the drive. There was a light in the porter’s lodge: when we reached it, we found the porter’s wife just kindling her fire: my trunk, which had been carried down the evening before, stood corded at the door. It wanted but a few minutes of six, and shortly after that hour had struck, the distant roll of wheels announced the coming coach; I went to the door and watched its lamps approach rapidly through the gloom.
<SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"> 
<SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"> 
<SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">    呢个时候月光已经落下，周围黑鼆鼆。比丝欏住盏灯，嗰啲闪烁嘅灯光照喺濕湆湆嘅、啱啱解冻嘅台阶同埋砂石路上面。阴冻啊冬天嘅清晨，当我咋咋林噉行喺条车道上面紧嗰阵啲牙冻到咔咔声。看门口嗰个人嘅睡房有灯光，我哋行到埋去，见到佢老婆喺度透紧火。我只篋，前一日夜晚已经畀人拎咗落楼，已经用绳扎好放喺门边。家阵差几分钟就到六点，跟手过咗钟响冇几耐，远处就传嚟车辘声，预示住马车嘅到嚟。我行到门口，凝望住马车嘅车灯穿过黑暗，飞快噉逼近。（《简?爱》第五章）

茗荷介 發表於 2007-12-14 23:51:19

pippo譯得好好喎，加油~ <IMG alt="" src="http://bbs.cantonese.asia/images/smilies/default/smile.gif" border=0 smilieid="1">

pippo 發表於 2007-12-15 15:39:42

收到，thank you!

pippo 發表於 2008-1-15 21:32:09

The coach drew up; there it was at the gates with its four horses and its top laden with passengers: the guard and coachman loudly urged haste; my trunk was hoisted up; I was taken from Bessie’s neck, to which I clung with kisses. ‘Be sure and take good care of her,’ cried she to the guard, as he lifted me into the inside. ‘Ay, ay!’ was the answer: the door was slapped to, a voice exclaimed ‘All right,’ and on we drove. Thus was I severed from Bessie and Gateshead: thus whirled away to unknown, and, as I then deemed, remote and mysterious regions. 呢个时候部马车停低咗，就喺大门口度；呢乘四匹马嘅马车，车顶度「挣」满晒啲搭客。看车佬同车夫大大声噉嗌生晒赶住上车，跟手我个行李箱就被撜起。我就畀人从比丝条颈度掹咗落嚟，当时箍住佢条颈猛咁锡紧咖。 「小心啲同埋要睇实佢啊。」比丝向个看车佬嗌，当后者将我拎起挤到马车入面嗰阵。 「得喇，得喇！」有人应。度门「嘭」声闩埋咗，有把声嗌「搞掂，」噉跟手就上路嘞。就係噉样，我就同比丝、盖茨海德被分开嘞；就係噉样，我就被卷入咗一个未知嘅世界。（《简•爱》第五章）

卢总發表於 2008-1-16 15:02:51

"盖茨"呢个译法好捞啊！应该译作「基斯」好啲！
「Ｂｉｌｌ　Ｇａｔｅｓ」我向来都系译作「标基斯」嘅。

Jake_ct 發表於 2008-1-16 20:55:53

多谢楼主嘅努力，加油。
在下比较忙，不及细看，但想畀啲意见，唔好见怪。
 
我认为粤语入文系毫无问题嘅，但亦应该注意简洁、顺畅等问题。不可从一个极端走向另一个极端，一味口语化，应该吸收古汉文化精华。北方人不要的，亦不妨碍我地去吸取。这样才可以将粤文化发扬光大。
 
你原文中「……起咗床」「……「嘭」声闩埋咗」，以在下愚见，认为用「起身」，「嘭」声闩埋」代替，效果会好好多。因为粤式文法有点就在于表现力丰富，但同时又可以简洁。所以该简洁嘅地方，我认为都系应该简洁。粤语书面化嘅过程一定要既保留自己嘅特色，但同时不可偏废所有书面语言共同遵守嘅规范。
 
本人亦忙，真系冇详细睇你嘅译作，请继续坚持，如果有讲错嘅地方，万勿见怪！
我自己都喺度译紧《哈里波特与凤凰密令》电影台词，希望有机会大家作进一步交流。<IMG alt="" src="http://bbs.cantonese.asia/images/smilies/default/smile.gif" border=0 smilieid="1">

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「粵譯外文經典」簡·愛（原標題：粵譯經典作品）