女白领兼职当第三者 深圳婚外情泛滥仅次上海
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Simsun; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 51, 102); line-height: 23px; "></span></p><div class="allinpage_tit" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 17px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-weight: bold; font-size: 26px; color: rgb(0, 51, 102); line-height: 25px; font-family: 宋体; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; "><span class="inpage_tit " style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><div id="ScDetailTitle" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; ">女白领兼职当第三者 深圳婚外情泛滥仅次上海</div></span></div><div class="allpublic" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; text-align: center; ">2009-11-24 08:06 南方都市报 </div><div class="alltxt" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 16px; width: 628px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); line-height: 23px; text-decoration: none; "><br></div><div class="alltxt" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 16px; width: 628px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); line-height: 23px; text-decoration: none; "> <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; ">资深业内人士称深圳婚外情泛滥成灾 私企老板、政府公务员「高危」</strong><p></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><b><br></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 「我用四个字来形容深圳婚外情的情况，泛滥成灾。」私家侦探郑凡个子不高但身手敏捷，一双眼睛炯炯有神，从2000年开始做婚外情调查，郑凡在「道上」已经混了近十年，也算小有名气。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 随着业务越开越大，郑凡的业务也开始转型，现在他给自己一个新的文绉绉的定位：婚外情医生。他的公司不局限于婚外情调查，还介入化解婚姻危机，必要的情况下会委婉劝退「第三者」。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; ">婚外情泛滥 深圳仅次上海</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><b><br></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 郑凡说，当年他开始做婚外情调查的时候，一个月就接一两宗案子，现在每天至少要接六个电话，邮箱里每天有四五个咨询。这不排除是郑凡名气上升带来的变化，但整个市场也在膨胀。2000年全市就那么几家调查公司，现在有两百家以上在做婚外情调查，「一打开报纸，铺天盖地是调查公司的广告。」</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 让郑凡感受颇深的，还是婚外情从「偷偷摸摸」到「光明正大」的转变。「以前人们包二奶都是偷偷摸摸的，现在好像见怪不怪了。」郑凡说，有时他们到小区去调查，连保安都很清楚谁谁包二奶。而且「第三者」的心态也变了，「她们很多人觉得自己没错，反而认为那个被丈夫抛弃还死皮赖脸生活在一起的才是『第三者』。」</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 这位经验丰富的侦探，自称有十多个手下，公司在广州、北京、上海等地都设了点。他列举多个案例后说，从全国范围看，婚外情最泛滥的城市是上海，深圳紧跟其后。他说深圳是一个很容易滋生感情的地方，因为它是一个移民城市，很多人只身来这里闯荡，没有亲人可以倾诉，经常感到空虚，很容易依赖别人。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 郑凡分析，出轨的男人多是来深圳时间较长，文化水平和收入比较高的人。这些人经过多年的奋斗，事业上小有成就。但在物质富裕的同时，他们的精神往往是空虚的。这时候他们就有很强的补偿心理，想找回年轻时那种恋爱的感觉。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 郑凡还列出十大最容易发生婚外情的人群，包括私企老板，政府公务员，银行职员，IT行业人员，教师，医生等。至于「第三者」，郑凡认为他们多数是为了物质，目的性较强，其中多以80后为主。一些年纪较大的「第三者」则往往是出于感情。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 郑凡还对一种现象感到担忧。他曾经受人委托到水库新村调查一个案子。被调查者是一位蓝牌车司机，来深圳20多年了，在水库新村有一栋房子。他的房客是一名年轻白领，蓝牌车司机就将她包下来，两人还签了包养协议，「这在其他城中村也存在。深圳女白领兼职当第三者，这已经不是个别案例了。」</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; ">化解婚姻危机推出全套服务</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><b><br></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 从事调查行业多年的郑凡，现在给自己一个新的文绉绉的定位：婚外情医生。做婚外情调查多年，他体会到跟踪、拍照这些侦探功夫，并不能成为核心竞争力。「其实很多人来委托我们调查，是带着很大的期望，不希望家庭破裂的。」正是基于这一点，郑凡的公司提供特色服务，他们不局限于调查，还介入化解婚姻危机。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 郑凡的桌上摆着毕淑敏的《女人心理咨询手记》以及《三个人的天堂》、《心理咨询》、《等待离婚的日子》等书。他拿出客户发给他的短信，一位妇女发现丈夫出轨后痛心不已，郑凡通过各种方法让她恢复信心，为了孩子坚强地活下去。最后妇女发短信致谢。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 郑凡说，他们公司提供给客户的服务分成单项和全套。全套服务做下来收费不低于三万元，所以很多人选择做单项，比如只查电话清单、资产情况等。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 但如果委托人选择全套服务，他们在调查清楚被调查人和第三者的关系，包括交往的频率、感情深浅等情况后，会向委托人分析婚外情发生的起因，并尽可能从家庭的角度帮委托人分析、选择，并化解家庭危机。他们甚至会通过各种途径，用不同的角色去接近第三者，了解她的内心世界，在必要的情况下委婉进行劝退。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; ">香港女博士调查婚外情 称长期关注家庭问题 婚外情是人类最痛苦情感之一</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><b><br></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 日前，一则招募婚外情经历者的帖子出现在天涯、聚橙网等网站。发帖者是香港大学一名女博士生，她正在深圳开展一项关于婚外情的调研，她认为婚外情是人类最痛苦情感之一。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 「我知道很多人对女博士这个群体有些看法，但严格讲我还没拿到博士学位，而且我已经结婚了，有个美好的家庭。」戴着眼镜的池培莲说话轻轻的，看起来有些瘦弱。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 池培莲说她读本科时就对家庭治疗感兴趣，她是北京师范大学心理学硕士，当时做的论文是「夫妻沟通和婚姻满意感」。后来她到香港大学读博，专攻家庭研究和治疗。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 「我从2008年就开始关注婚外情现象了。」池培莲认为，婚外情是人类最痛苦的情感之一，也是对夫妻关系影响最大、最有挑战性的，「在这场情感游戏中没有赢家」。最后，她决定将「配偶婚外情的经历和应对」作为博士论文的主题，并选择在深圳做调研，「选择深圳有两个原因：一方面是离香港近，另一方面深圳的离婚率较高。」</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 池培莲在深圳的调查分两部分，第一部分是直接和受访者面谈，深入了解个人的经历和应对方法，形成理论。第二部分是通过调查问卷获取大量的信息，验证理论。目前访谈工作已经基本完成，池培莲一共访谈了23个人，其中9个将作为她博士论文分析的样本。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 问卷调查还在进行中，她计划做400份调查，目前已完成了数十份。接受问卷调查的人士，可以获得一本心理方面的书籍。他们可以通过电子邮件、邮寄、面谈或者电话访谈四种方式完成问答。调查匿名，所有被访者提供的资料都会绝对保密，只做研究用途。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 做婚外情调查，如何接触当事人是一大难题，池培莲选择和深圳几大心理咨询中心以及康宁医院合作。当求助者拨打这些机构的热线或到医院门诊，合作方的咨询师就会向求助者介绍她的研究项目，如果当事人同意，就会通过各种方法让他们参与进来。池培莲还在网上发帖，希望征集到更多的案例。但到目前为止，这个渠道还未带来任何有效的案例。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 池培莲说，最开始她计划同时调查发生婚外情的人士及其伴侣，「后来发现难度太大，毕竟出轨者是需要很大勇气站出来的。」于是她改变方案，只向因伴侣出轨而经历情感伤痛的一方做调查。</p></div></span><p></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> ■情感热线</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 两成话题涉婚外情</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 今年4月28日，深圳市市民情感护理中心正式启动。中心开设的电话热线88851085谐音「帮帮帮我一定帮我」。市民有任何情感问题都可以免费咨询。热线开通以来已经接了2000个电话，「其中有400个是关于婚外情的，是(比重)最大的一部分。」</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 此前，深圳市规模最大的婚姻心理咨询机构———深圳市康乐园心理咨询有限公司曾做过统计。该公司一年受理的婚姻问题咨询6000多例，其中由婚外恋引发的问题就占到约80%，约有4800例左右。康乐园心理咨询有限公司的调查数据中，还呈现一个<b><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#FF0000">深圳特色：在发生婚外恋的情况中，女性婚外恋比例占到了40%左右，为广东最高。</font></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 2009年6月28日，香港前保良局总理事林依丽在香港发起了一场前所未有的反包二奶大游行。她认为香港法律对「包二奶」行为太过宽松，特别是上流社会包二奶的现象已经公开化、娱乐化乃至正常化。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 林依丽曾在公开场合讲述自己的故事。1996年，她同居13年的男友，被发现在外面有了别的女人。林曾一手握着刀，一手抓20粒安眠药准备自杀。但没有死成，最后她成了香港反二奶的中流砥柱。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 香港妇女服务联会主席欧阳宝珍引用香港大学2001年的调查称，如果将召妓也算在内，香港10个家庭8个有婚外情。而香港家庭主妇自杀人数，从1998年起就不断上升，1998年为98人；1999年为116人；2000年达到157人。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 婚姻危机援助被动</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><b><br></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 深圳市市民情感护理中心副主任兼项目主管张越武坦言，在处理婚外情问题上，当事人在面对这个敏感话题时的尴尬、拘谨或者回避，都给工作人员带来很大困难。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 张越武说，一般人都会抱着「家丑不外扬」的想法，即使出现了家庭危机，也不愿意让别人知道，很多事憋在心里，如果不及时调节就很容易走向极端。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 而目前针对婚姻危机的援助也是被动性的，援助机构只能在接到电话后才介入。张越武介绍，在他们接听的2000个热线电话，大部分是一般性的情感问题，但也有问题比较复杂，心灵创伤较重的。其中甚至有8个极端案例，打电话的人正面临严重的心理危机，有他杀、自杀的倾向。对于这些人，中心会立刻进行干预，在使他们冷静下来后，还会跟踪提供援助。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 「如果能提前介入、预防，可能效果更好。」张越武说，他们打算通过这次婚外情调查，发现问题家庭的根本问题所在，再举办一些家庭幸福沙龙，组织深圳的家庭来参加，让市民们知道如何维持家庭幸福。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 本版采写：深港记者 庄树雄</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "> 深港统筹：付可 谢江涛</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 3px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; "><br></p>[ 本帖最後由 使君子 於 2009-11-26 13:17 編輯 ] <br><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">楚国女人特别「放得开」，楚国男人不择手段，深圳楚国裔人士不少。本人就是不欢迎楚国人入我南越境，要「捞」请到别处「捞」！</span></div>
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