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即興狒狒 發表於 2008-7-18 11:39:14

說屎

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">本是同篤屎，相嫌不太急</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">我不是一個偏激的文人，不要以為我寫了些關於屎的文字就認定我是討厭屎的。明白的人自然明白，不明白的人確實好難明白，但我盡人事試著解釋一下。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">撩起我呢鋪屎癮的，是昨晚收音機講東講西條</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US">cheap</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">柚鄧雜誌大設計師，還有他帶上節目的假洋鬼子。他們講述了他們粗鄙及庸俗兼膚淺的中國觀感，令人作嘔，比他們講他們在中國屎坑裏面見到的中國屎更甚。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">其實屎究竟能有幾何噁心呢。細心想想，每個人都屙過屎，所有人的屎都曾經是自己身體裏面的一部分，何噁心之有？</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">屎是臭的？那只是一種感覺，自己的屎你自己可以接受，別人的臭你就接受不了，如果你說確實是這樣的，我想我幫很少缺點近乎完美的你找到一個缺點了，塞了錢入你袋，請多謝我。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">屎不衛生？那也荒謬。屎裏面任何可能滋生出來的細菌和病毒，又有幾多真是攞你命的，又有多大幾率會令你折壽的呢，如果僅因為此就覺得屎是不衛生的，是</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 宋体;" lang="ZH-TW">汚穢</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">的，那麼那些令人收穫花柳梅毒愛滋的東東，你又為何不認為是噁心呢。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">即使屙這篤屎的人有病，有沙士、有肺癆、有</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US">cancer</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">、有梅毒、有愛滋，你看一眼、索一啖就會惹埋你咩？就算屙呢篤屎的人好似八兩金扮果個</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US">piere</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">那樣鼻哥窿生蟲，甚至蘿柚生瘡奔周流膿，你踩了一腳、揩了一手指，你就會變到好似八兩金那樣，變到周身生癩（</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US">sorry</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">八兩金，我冇惡意）？冇可能掛。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">金城武、林志玲、肉酸托腮、洲崎步，以及你我屙的屎</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 宋体;">，</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">都系那種屎，可能他們屙的形狀還比不上你我的美觀呢。若果可以讓你看多幾眼索多幾啖，踩多兩腳揩多幾下，就可以令你生得仿似他們一樣標緻，你又是否即刻螺飯應屎呢。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">其實真正噁心的，是令你覺得屎噁心的那個根源，是你生命裏面令你認為屎噁心的那段</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US">DNA</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">，那個令你覺得你身體裏面不再需要的廢物所發出的氣味噁心的基因。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">屎真是慘，被人遺棄，仲要被人嫌棄，繼而被沖到地</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 宋体;">底</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">下的屎坑，任由其繼續自生自滅，吽臭吽爛，再排到大海，化為烏有。我替屎可憐，替屙屎嫌屎臭的你可悲。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">昨晚講東講西的假洋鬼子，形容其在北京見到的中國人，</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 宋体;">汚</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">糟邋遢，鼠眉獐目，不安好心，躁狂亡命，這是形容緊一群人嗎，這簡直是在形容一灘屎。於是乎，屎屙的屎，屎屙屎而充滿屎屙的屎的場所，實在是理所當然地噁心得無以復加了。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">正如上述所言，中國人其實的的確確像極了一灘臭屎，而且是一個生曬肺癆</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US">cancer</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">梅毒愛滋，鼻哥窿生蟲、屎窟飆瘡、奔周流膿，仲要生得比八兩金樣衰一千一萬倍的極品，他所屙的千千萬萬億億兆兆篤屎。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">其實我覺得屎可愛。不過曾幾何時其實可憐指的就是可愛，這又有多少人知道呢，卡哇兒就知。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">屎是可愛的，屎默默無聞，承擔曬人的廢物與毒素，所以人就將生產屎的那個動作稱作排泄、排毒，屎也順理成章地成為廢物、毒物的</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 宋体;">代言人</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">，但屎仍然無怨無悔，也不知去怨和悔，真係天生犯賤，無怪乎會千秋萬代百世曲街。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">屎又真</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 宋体;">係</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">有屎的生存方式，自得其樂自給自足，並不在乎身處於哪個屎坑，生生世世代代不知不覺就溶解于屎水當中，照例同化、發酵，越變越臭，越臭越爛，直至成就那永恆的屎的傳說。任你周遭世道如何唾棄如何白眼如何摧殘，屎也只是依然繼續固有的生存方式，僅此而已，也足夠頑固，使得屎就如同那些歷史上最恒久的史前生物如蟑螂蒼蠅一樣生生不息代代相傳。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">屎又有好多用途，做肥田料，做燃料，做化工原材料，成全屎達致自身作用的方式不外乎都是分解自己，燃燒自己，作賤自己，毀滅自己。於是乎，屎也就順理成章地被當作低等、下賤、自甘墮落滅亡，或不曾存在，甚至不正在存在。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt; color: DarkRed;"><font size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">我還有何話好說呢。每當想到這些，我都覺得你我日日都屙，充斥四周，舉目皆是，臭氣熏天的屎是何等美麗，以至要肅然起敬。</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" lang="EN-US"><span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW">我還有何話好說呢。明白的人自然會明白，不明白的人確實好難明白。從前我可能會出離憤怒，以前我可能會淚如泉湧，現在我還是去屙翻篤臭屎自賞孤芳好了，噢，我不是已經屙了一篤嗎。</span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><br><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW"></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><br><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW"></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><br><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW"></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><br><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW"></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><br><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW"></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"><a href="http://www.rthk.org.hk/rthk/radio1/Free_as_the_wind/20080717.html">節目重溫</a><font style="color: DarkRed;" size="5"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: PMingLiU;" lang="ZH-TW"><br></span></font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 28pt;"></p>

[ 本帖最後由 即興狒狒 於 2008-7-18 12:02 編輯 ]

成日笑 發表於 2008-7-18 23:11:04

<P>講心嗰句，狒兄呢篇嘢算得上係千年猛文！</P>
<P>應該「受」精<IMG alt="" src="http://bbs.cantonese.asia/images/smilies/default/lol.gif" border=0 smilieid="12"> </P>

tonybean 發表於 2008-7-20 23:36:23

樓主好有想象力，不過有啲……

gboss 發表於 2008-8-10 13:10:50

睇完後，我諗起《黐閪線》嗰段錄音……

即興狒狒 發表於 2008-9-3 14:56:03

<P>原帖由 <I>gboss</I> 於 2008-8-10 13:10 發表 <A href="http://bbs.cantonese.asia/redirect.php?goto=findpost&amp;pid=98726&amp;ptid=11238" target=_blank><IMG onclick=zoom(this) alt="" src="http://bbs.cantonese.asia/images/common/back.gif" onload="attachimg(this, 'load')" border=0></A> 睇完後，我諗起《黐閪線》嗰段錄音…… </P>
<P>&nbsp;</P>
<P>&nbsp;</P>
<P>鄙人孤陋，請問兄臺，邊度有《黐閪線》聽？</P>

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